Orange Planet

What a cheesy frikkin’ title (and arguably it’s yet another moan post). Anyway, for the past couple of weeks I have been wondering if Engineering was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Why did I want to do Engineering? What was my inspiration? Was it just the fact that everyone around me had the “Engineering is so cool!” attitude and did I go through (or started cutting a path) because I wanted to be “cool”? To a certain extent, that might be true. When I was growing up, I really wasn’t exposed to many career options - it was mostly always having either an Engineer as a career, or a Doctor. There was a rare business case that was slipped in, but nothing other than that. Linguistics was sparse. The rest was just non existent. And top it off with the fact that I just grew up assuming that being an Engineer was teh shit. Perhaps I really did want to be an Engineer. I loved tinkering with stuff, and fixing them. I daresay I was good at it too. But somewhere along the line, somewhere around my early high shcool years, everything just fell apart. Maybe because it was around then that I started taking any sort of remote interest in movies, music and eventually computers that would serve as the primary tools of distraction. 

Now, I have been wondering if I want to switch majors to the TV/Film industry. Now, I don’t mean I want to act. I want to work with the behind the scenes tools - the really obscure job titles that scroll through the ending credits at the end of a movie or a sitcom. I am not sure what I want to do yet. Something where I can be creative perhaps. There are other hazards too - Firstly my GPA won’t be good enough to request a major change. Secondly, what guarantee is there that I’ll like it after I switch? What guarantee is there that I’ll be good at it? How are the job prospects (I suppose it shouldn’t be that bad since the media is always doing something or the other)? If I wanted to major in Japanese, how am I going to be living off of it (since it seems like it’s a fairly hard profession to live by)? But then I realized that I can be creative in Engineering too, and that I have been sucking becuase I probably didn’t put any thought into the fact that what I’m learning is the alphabet of the language that I will be speaking when I get out of college. If I knew what I was good enough, I can probably create an essay of wonder with my command of the language. So perhaps when I was really thinking that I was being true to my heart, it was just an illusion, and in reality I was probably betraying myself. 

And so I’m starting over for the umpteenth time. >_>

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